Thomas Williams spent his life believing he was “ineligible” for a sex life — a lonely reality for many adults living with disabilities.
The 28-year-old, who has cerebral palsy, told The Post he never had an erotic experience of any kind — until 58-year-old Sue Newsome came into his life.
Newsome, a full-time sex surrogate and therapist from Staffordshire, England, helps others explore their sexuality and develop skills through one-on-one, hands-on coaching.
Typical clients include people who struggle with intimacy and anxiety, have experienced sexual trauma, or who have difficulty reaching orgasm. Newsome said up to 60 percent of them have disabilities, and they range in age from 20-somethings to people in their 60s.
She meets Williams once a month, with a typical session involving busting myths about sexuality, teaching him healthy masturbation practices and helping to boost his confidence.
Surrogacy services typically run $85 to $130, and Newsome does not have sex with her clients. Yet Williams is a very satisfied customer.
“Working with a sex surrogate has blasted a great, big, rocket-propelled grenade through the myth that I am disabled and I therefore have relinquished the right to sexual expression,” Williams told The Post. “That’s bollocks!”
Newsome, who also counsels men and women who feel they have compulsive sexual behavior, kinks or fetishes, said working with a client who has a disability is about “enabling.”
“The first part of my work with them is meeting them and really understanding what it is they want help with,” Newsome said, “but also really getting a feel for what their environment is, what their living situation is and also fully understanding their physical situation — what are their limitations?”
During one session with Williams, for example, Newsome presented him with a masturbation sex toy that fully encloses his penis, something she explains is “not something you can easily do with your hand.”
A couple Newsome works with both have cerebral palsy and came to her hoping to achieve penetrative intercourse. Because that was not an option, she helped them expand their repertoire for pleasure to achieve a healthy and fulfilling sex life without penetration.
“It’s not sordid like people would assume,” said Williams’ nurse Cheryl Birch, who introduced Williams to Newsome. “It’s just a massive impact on a person that’s entitled to it.”
And for Newsome, empowering clients is really what sex — and surrogacy — is all about.
“For me, it’s quite rewarding to see the journey that Tom has been on,” she told The Post. “If by working with someone, I can help them or I can support them in finding some more joy or a greater sense of self, then that for me is magic.”
