Working with couples

I work with couples to help deepen intimacy and enable them to experience greater sexual pleasure together.

We cannot have satisfying sex with our partners unless we develop and maintain our individual capacity for intimacy in our relationships. Intimacy is allowing ourselves to be fully known by another and for them to let us know them in return. The quality of the sex we have is determined by our capacity to be intimate.

However, intimacy can be challenging and provoke anxiety. Even with our partners we may find close emotional contact frightening or overwhelming. Many couples find obstacles to intimacy make their sex life difficult. Even couples with a good level of intimacy can find it disrupted by life events. Illness, depression, redundancy, bereavement and the birth of children can upset our intimacy and create obstacles in our sex lives.

A programme of work with a couple begins with enabling them to deepen and broaden their intimate life together. This involves building each partner’s sexual confidence, confronting issues from their pasts, and liberating their ability to communicate sexually, particularly about their individual desires and preferences.

As couples develop or rediscover intimacy together, we work on developing each partner’s awareness of and confidence in their body. I offer honest and open sex education to correct misconceptions about our bodies, how they work and how intimacy develops from pleasure not performance. I offer each couple a programme of practical exercises to enable them to identify what they want and broaden their experience of sexual pleasure.

I also work with couples who are looking to deepen the intimacy they have by trying something new, expanding their sexual style and repertoire with new activities, such as BDSM, or looking to gain a deeper level of spiritual connection.

Intimacy is personal and unique for every couple and each partner within that couple. I help each to develop their confidence in themselves, to be open to greater intimacy and to get the sexual pleasure they want in partnership with the other.